


마지막에 부른 내 이름을 따라 부른다.

by amiavegetable



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Denial, Friendship, M/M, Weddings, dealing with old feelings, lowkey office au but you didn't hear it from me, protect jonghyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-23 13:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13191312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amiavegetable/pseuds/amiavegetable
Summary: After years and years, Jonghyun is forced to deal with it. A wedding is hard to ignore, after all.





	마지막에 부른 내 이름을 따라 부른다.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AStarlightMonbebe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStarlightMonbebe/gifts).



> hi pls read this:
> 
> so when i first received this prompt, i didn't really know how to write it bc i'm BAD at writing anything remotely introspective but somehow this completely spiraled out of control and now it's too long and yeah anyway, that's why i'm posting in two parts. thank you to cam for conducting this fest and for being lenient even though i'm technically breaking the rules and thank you, dear recipient, for the prompt! i hope you enjoy reading this despite the choppy work (im so sorry)  
>    
> title is jonghyun's last line in where you at bc im unoriginal

“Good work, Kim Jonghyun.“

Seated in a high armchair across his supervisor’s giant wooden desk, Jonghyun releases a tiny breath. He felt relieved, so relieved, when the other party’s representative had given his presentation an approving nod and shook his hand at the end of the meeting, as relieved as one should feel after sealing a major deal. Jonghyun is not a boastful person, but receiving the congratulations from his floor colleagues as soon as he stepped back into the working space when they know how much he’s been slaving over this project warmed even his modest heart. Yet, all the hours of stress and anxious checking and rechecking the data in his diagrams only feel quite worth it now, in this extravagant, panorama-windowed office thirty floors off the ground with his boss’ praise in the room.

“Hey“, Sejeong calls from her cubicle next to Jonghyun’s when he steps out of the elevator, “you’re smiling. Meeting with Kahi went well?“

“Of course it did“, Jeonghan butts in, head appearing over the thin wall separating his cubicle from Sejeong’s. He directs a smile in Jonghyun’s direction, raising an eyebrow. “How’s it feel, being the hero of the day?“

Jonghyun, feeling too elated to scold Sejeong’s playful scoff in Jeonghan’s direction, smiles at his hands. “Good“, he says, stepping into his cubicle. His desk is messier than usual, pages of misprinted handout excerpts spilling out of his printer and the Pokémon figurines lined up beneath his computer screen askew. The weight of this past project has dropped from his shoulders and is now dangling from his legs, pressing him boneless and heavy into his seat. “Really good.“

Jeonghan’s smile turns a tad softer at that, and he gathers up what sounds like a stack of paper behind the cubicle wall. “Well, enjoy your day. I’m pretty sure Kahi will be ready for you with new hells to conquer on Monday.“

“Will do.“

Once Jeonghan has left to deliver his papers somewhere, Sejeong steps into his cubicle, shamelessly planting her butt on his desk. Jonghyun lets her off with a half-assed glare. He’s reveled in the feeling of professional success long enough to be able to tap his computer out of its stand-by mode, opening up his email.

“So“, Sejeong says, then pauses, gently placing one of his knocked over desk figurines back on its feet while Jonghyun crafts an email to his project team, thanking them for their hard work. As project leader, it was him in the end who had all the responsibility and who had to present their work to the other company, but that doesn’t mean that Jonghyun values their contributions any less. Squinting at the screen, he shoots Sejeong a quick glance. “What's up?“

He looks up from his screen when Sejeong slides off his desk, wearing a complicated expression on her face. “Do you wanna get lunch together? I have to tell you something.“

Jonghyun’s fingers still on the keyboard. Sejeong’s usual smile is subdued, edges fading behind the beginning of a frown. Her request was direct as ever, but there’s an insecurity sitting behind her words that he’s not sure how to categorize. “Okay“, he says, hitting send. “Lead the way.“

He’s not really surprised when Sejeong breezily foregoes the button for third floor, where the company’s cafeteria is located, and firmly hits G instead. The building’s high-ceilinged lobby is clad in marble, which Jonghyun has always thought of as a little too over the top for his liking, and bustling with people at this hour. Most of them are employees in work-smart outfits like him and Sejeong, some are clients or visitors. He gives the receptionists behind their high desks a polite nod in passing before following Sejeong out the door.

Outside, the midday sun hits him full stride. It’s October now, and the weather is just tipping from the Summer heat to the more moderate tones of Fall, the sky a striking blue still. Sejeong slows her steps, smoothing out a few wrinkles in her white blouse while they pass the smokers huddling together behind the discreet row of evergreen separating the smoking area from the street.

It’s only when they’re seated across from each other in the tasteful yet decently prized restaurant - an old discovery of theirs, but that doesn’t make it less appealing - in the adjoining building, the city sprawling lazy and endless outside of its windows, that Sejeong speaks.

“I’m getting married“, she says, blurts it out all at once really, and Jonghyun is left staring dumbly at her face while two waiters place bowls of rice and soup in front of them. It takes him a few seconds processing her words, and another few awkwardly waiting for the waiters to leave, to answer.

“Congratulations“, he says carefully, feeling a little at a loss.

“Thank you“, Sejeong says, and when he looks up the expression he couldn’t decipher earlier finally clears up, making way for a smile like the sun appearing behind a flock of clouds. The happiness on her face, in her eyes and her beautiful, radiant smile, is so obvious it’s hard to give way to the sinking feeling in Jonghyun’s gut. “I’m happy for you“, he says, and he means it.

Sejeong pats the pockets of her skirt and then fishes out a slender silver band, adorned with a small, single diamond. It’s elegant and tasteful and fits her perfectly, even or especially when she unceremoniously slides it onto the ring finger of her left hand.

“I took it off this morning because it felt strange to wear it to work when no one knows about it yet“, she explains, folding her hands. The diamond flashes with the movement, catching the light of a sunbeam through the window like an afterthought.

“I wanted to tell someone first and then tell everyone, to have backup, you know?“ She laughs. “It’s kind of silly, now that I think about it.“

Jonghyun clears his throat. “Since when…?“

Sejeong smiles even wider. “Since last weekend. I wanted to tell you, but you were so busy with the deal and I didn’t want to stress you out even more.“ She pauses. “You’ll come to the wedding, right? Joonyoung would love to meet you.“

Jonghyun doesn’t ask who the hell Joonyoung is, winces at the image of another wedding invitation lying unopened on his coffee table at home suddenly flashing before his eyes. He forces it to disappear and looks at his friend.

“Of course“, he says, voice filled with real warmth. Up until yesterday, he would have taken her hand in his for a reassuring squeeze. He deems it inappropriate now and leans back in his seat instead. “Of course I’ll come to your wedding.“

Sejeong looks relieved. “Thank you, for- you know. Listening to me and letting me tell you about this before everyone else.“

The smile he feels settling on his lips doesn’t even feel forced. “That’s what I’m here for“, he says, and watches yet another door shut in his face.

 

He calls Aron once he gets out of the subway station.

“You okay?“, Aron asks after he’s told him everything, because he’s a good friend. “Yeah“, Jonghyun lies, because he isn’t.

“Okay“, Aron says, voice patient but Jonghyun has known him long enough to detect the opening in his tone, the space he’s giving Jonghyun to explain himself. Jonghyun ignores it, and Aron sighs.

“Call me in the morning“, he says, patience all gone now. “I’m getting you a date.“

Jonghyun doesn’t have it in him to protest.

Walking down the street bustling with people at the warm evening hour, he contemplates the possibility of a setup. Aron has always been reliable, but Jonghyun has also never been quite as desperate as now, Sejeong’s announcement from earlier still lingering on his mind and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. There’s little shattering a man’s pride so thoroughly as something like this, just that in Jonghyun’s case he doesn’t even have the right to be disappointed, and he’s well aware of that.

He thinks of the envelope on his coffee table again, of old scars and his own cowardice. He accelerates his steps.

There’s an envelope on the low table in front of his couch in his small two room apartment, unopened and slightly dusty from the almost two weeks it’s been there, untouched but plenty stared at. When he gets home, Jonghyun drops his keys on his kitchen counter and walks over to his couch in two long strides, not bothering to turn on the lights. In the dim shine from the street lamps and the 7-11 neon sign across the street he rips the envelope open, eyes skimming over dark curvy letters on thick, creamy paper, _following the engagement of Hwang Minhyun & Kim Nayoung…_

Jonghyun stares at the names, connected by a bold ampersand and encircled with delicate flowery ornaments, and listens to the wheezing sounds of his heart.

 

Jonghyun is in the middle of burning his breakfast when Aron calls again.

He hisses a curse and rushes to turn off his stove, trying to simultaneously push the pan off the heat and tap the green answer key on his phone.

“Hey“, Aron says, sounding as put together as always. “How are you?“

“Good“, Jonghyun replies with as little strain as possible. And it’s not a lie. He woke up earlier with a few shy sunbeams on his face, feeling a lot less bad than he’d expected. The envelope he’d stuffed the wedding invitation back into before going to bed hadn’t magically vanished from his life over night, but Jonghyun is an adult. He’d dealt with it (read: ignored it) just fine.

“Good“, Aron repeats. “Right. I got news.“

“News?“

“Yup. Name’s Im Nayoung, same age as you, stable income.“ A pause. “Pretty and dependable. Your type, right?“

Jonghyun flinches at _Im Nayoung_ , the semblance too big not to be considered ironic, and then flinches again when Aron mentions his type because what does Aron know? (Too much, he thinks, remembering their longstanding friendship, way too much.) (And it’s not even right. He hasn’t dated enough people to have a type, which just means that all of Aron’s assessment is based on one person only, and there the wedding invitation is on the forefront of his mind again-)

“Okay“, he says, poking at what’s left of his scrambled eggs in the pan. “I’ll go.“

The other end of the line is silent for a few seconds, but Aron doesn’t comment on how fast he’s agreed to this, just leaves him her e-mail address. Jonghyun scribbles it down on a scrap of paper and tries not to think about how Aron also hasn’t commented on the radio silence on his part concerning the wedding. There is no way he’s not invited: he’s known Minhyun just as long as Jonghyun, which means not interrogating Jonghyun about it is part of his refusal to take sides. For that, Jonghyun is eternally grateful, because the last thing he wants is to ruin another friendship.

By the time Aron hangs up, Jonghyun has a date set for next Saturday. He’s left with a plate of cold eggs and the envelope mocking him from the coffee table.

 

Im Nayoung is reserved but straight-forward over text. In real life, she’s a smidgen taller than him in black pumps and a dark pantsuit that immediately make Jonghyun and his turtleneck feel underdressed.

“Sorry“, she says after greeting him, “I had to head into work for an emergency meeting, but I didn’t want to cancel this, so-“ She makes a vague gesture down her front.

“Oh, that’s okay“, Jonghyun says, waiting until she’s sat down to go back to his own seat. “What do you do for work?“

She sighs, her expression somehow both fond and irritated. “I’m a manager at an entertainment company, I manage the trainees that are set to debut as their next girl group.“

Jonghyun smiles a little. “And how’s that?“

“Stressful. I am a mother of nine.“

Jonghyun thinks back to his college days, himself collecting Daniel and Seongwoo from the dance studios at night and force-feeding them ramen to make sure they didn’t die from malnutrition, or even further back in high school, a whiny Minki hanging off his back and stealing all his food at lunch. (He does not think about how he was never alone with his tasks, how there would always, always be another pair of hands to help keep Jaehwan in an upright position, or wipe sauce from Hyunbin’s face.)

“I know what that’s like“, he says softly.

Nayoung leans on her elbows a little, curiosity in her eyes calm and contained. Jonghyun silently approves of Aron’s judgment, although he still disagrees with it having anything to do with his tastes. “Oh yeah? How so?“

He decides on the abridged version. “I had a lot of friends in college who were my age or younger, and I always ended up being the responsible one. It’s different now, though. They all grew up a little, I guess.“

She doesn’t join the awkward chuckle that he tacks on because of the last sentence, thinking of Seongwoo’s acting career and Hyunbin’s face on all the big billboards in the city, and Minhyun - it’s strange to think that most of friends ended up becoming such public figures in the entertainment industry while he himself went the conservative route of graduating to an internship at a decent-sized company and working himself up the rank over the years. It seems a little like fate that Nayoung is active in the industry too, even if more as a background figure, to add just another person in his life reminding him of what could have been, should this work out. In a moment of stubborn petulance, he decides to ask.

“So, how did you get into the industry?“

He catches something all too familiar flashing in Nayoung’s expression before she averts her eyes. There’s a beat of silence, and when she speaks she does so to her hands. Her nails are short and bare.

“I followed my heart.“

And Jonghyun understands.

-

There’s a story here, and it starts out like this:

Kim Jonghyun meets Hwang Minhyun in front of his Introduction to Music Theory class his third week of college, falling within the time where barely anyone bothers to even show up to classes and lectures, where everything still feels sort of surreal and everyone is still high on surviving the lethal grinds of high school. Minhyun falls asleep on Jonghyun's shoulder half through the lecture and apologizes profusely when Jonghyun wakes him at the end of class, handing over his notes without much of a fuss.

Minhyun, Jonghyun finds out, part-times at the coffee shop close to campus that his little group of friends from high school (sans Aron, who attends a different college across town) frequents. Minhyun, Jonghyun finds out, is a warm soul that has no problem quickly falling in stride with Dongho, joining him in alternating between fondly laughing at and about Minki’s antics. Jonghyun, in all his adolescent naiveté, finds that his laugh mashes exceptionally well with the rest of theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> post writers reveal note: 
> 
> hi hello it’s me so the real reason why this is unfinished is that im stupid and signed up for two fic fests at the same time while doing college applications lmaO anyway im happy to have contributed to the collection and the nu’est tag
> 
> @ my recipient hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/omgiwentgold)


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